


One Year

by Squidilton



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-10
Updated: 2020-12-10
Packaged: 2021-03-10 04:54:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,020
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27998586
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Squidilton/pseuds/Squidilton
Summary: Akaashi gets diagnosed with terminal cancer and only has one year until his inevitable end, but how will he spend this last year of his life?
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou
Kudos: 16





	One Year

In the beginning, it was just a little head ache, it was something so small and yet I never knew it was something that would be the end of me.

My family have always praised me for my healthy body and the fact I had basically no sick days, and I was happy with that praise, because even I felt grateful. However, that small statement is something ironic now.

The doctor was in front us with my CT scan, the headache were arriving more often and more painful. It was becoming unbearable and so, my Mother and I went to the doctor where he referred us to the Hospital. A CT scan was taken of my brain to see what was going on, and this is not the result I desire. I wish it was something small that I had to take a few pills for and get over it. But, that is not my story.

The doctor said in simple words" Mr Akaashi, after looking at your CT scan it has become clear to us that you have a tumour."

My Mother had a hand over her mouth in shock, I thought being young it was treatable, but cancer doesn't give you choices. It decides if your worthy to die or not, and I was one that got an empty bag of options. I said to him" It can be treated, right?"

The doctor's eyes turned to dark as he said" Unfortunately, due to the late diagnosis, the tumour has turned terminal. I would estimate you have at least a ten months to a year, we could increase your time with chemotherapy--"

" If I am going to die, then there is no point on wasting it on me. I'll just continue with the time I have."

My Mother grabbed my wrist and said" Keiji, think this through!!!"

" I have, that's why I have made this decision."

The doctor spoke" If you do change your mind, please give me a call and we will get started immediately."

I nod and leave the room with my Mother by my side. 

When we arrived home, I told my Father of my condition and he was also broken by this news. Both of them were lost, their only child is going to be taken into the arms of death before them, that isn't how it is suppose to work. It's meant to be the parents then the child however, it seems fate wants to play a different game with us.

The next day when I went to school for morning practice, I decided to announce the news to my team mates they deserved to know of my upcoming death.

We were all taking a water break, I said" I know it may not be the best timing, but I don't know when to say it."

Konoha asked" What do you mean?"

" I have been going through these painful headaches daily, I went to the Hospital to see my results yesterday. It seems that I have a tumour, cancer..."

Bokuto's eyes shrunk as did everyone else's from hearing that one evil word, cancer. It's like saying the devil's name, everyone doesn't want to hear it or they don't want to believe it. 

Bokuto says" But you going to get treated, right?"

" That is the bad news, it is terminal."

Just as I thought when everyone's eyes couldn't get any smaller, they did and I was being embraced by every team mate and manager of the team. I have never been one to be cry or show much emotion, but in that moment I broke down knowing my time has been shortened.

A sob escaped my mouth and and I only felt one pair of arms around me, I knew the arms so clearly. I gripped onto his shirt--Bokuto's shirt and I felt a sense of warmth within me when I held him as he held me. No tears were falling down his cheeks, but I was aware one day he may feel how I do in this moment. When I pulled away, I saw Bokuto's glossy eyes and I took him into my arms. I cried out" Why are you crying..?"

" Because I wanted you to never stop giving me your tosses."

I laugh at his statement, and reply" At least I know what you always think about."

His head popped out through my arms, he sobbed" Akaashi..."

I kept him close within me, knowing he is the one I need despite that I only have 365 days, at the most.

Practice had just ended, Bokuto walked up to me asking" Hey Akaashi, are you doing anything on Saturday?"

" Not that I know of, why?"

" I was wondering if you wanted to hang out with me."

" Sure."

There was a small creep of blush on my cheeks as Bokuto asked me on this day out. I've liked Bokuto for a while, I don't believe he is aware of this or does he even notice the small hints. However, due to the sake of the team, it is probably better to remain as friends, at least, before he graduates, or when I go...

I don't let that bother me, and feel a rush of excitement for Saturday.

Saturday arrives quickly, I wear a black and white flannel shirt with a black coat and blue ripped jeans, due to the cold weather I thought a coat would be a good option. Just as I get my white converse shoes on, I hear a knock at the door and see Bokuto wearing a black Nike t-shirt with a white hoodie, with the sleeves rolled up and black jeans. He had a big grin on his face and said" Are you ready to go, Akaashi?"

I nod and say goodbye to my parents before leaving. 

We walked down the streets of Tokyo looking for a place to eat, but just as we find a noodle restaurant, I notice Kuroo and Kenma walking by. Kuroo's eyes lit up once he saw I was with Bokuto, and those two went off doing their own thing. I waved at Kenma saying" Hi."

" Hi, Akaashi."

After we all conversed, in our own way for some, we walked into the restaurant and had lunch. Once we had finished eating there, Kenma suggested going to a local arcade which we all thought was a good idea, and we all knew we were not going to challenge Kenma to anything, because we would all inevitably lose to the gamer.

Kenma was in his own world on the multiple arcade machines, while Kuroo and Bokuto were having a dance battle on one of the machines, both were awful and the point gap would not be dramatic. I decided to walk over to a claw machine full of owl plushies. I saw a grey one which seemed to resemble Bokuto quite well, so I attempted to snatch it from the grasp of the machine, which I successfully achieved. After I had finished on the machine, I walked over to the tired toddlers after they completed their dance battle with one another, Bokuto's eyes sparkled when his met my own. He smiled and said" Akaashi!!!"

He wrapped his arms around me, I asked" Who won?"

Due to Kuroo's defeated face, I could tell who lost, but I would rather hear it from the victor himself. Bokuto proudly says" I did, of course!!!"

He began boasting about how great he was, I went to pass him the owl saying" Well, then I guess the winner should have a prize."

Bokuto's face turned into an even wider smile as he received the owl I had won, he said" Thank you, Akaashi!"

I smiled at him, and just as everything seemed fine my left side of my head began giving me a terrible pain. It's worse than anything I had experienced for the past few months, I tried to not make it obvious to the others who seemed to be having fun. As we were just about to walk out, I had a slight dizzy spell which caused me to stumble slightly. Bokuto noticed immediately and went into panic mode, he frantically asks" Are you ok, Akaashi?! Do you need to sit down?! Should we take you to the Hospital?! Where's the closest Hospital?! Where is my phone?!"

I put a hand on his shoulder saying" I'm ok, Bokuto, I just need to get home and rest."

He nods and picks me up, so he is carrying me on his back. We said our goodbyes to Kuroo and Kenma as Bokuto began rushing me home, I could tell with the symptoms I was experiencing that it was a simple migraine. I just need to lay down.

I rest my head on Bokuto's shoulder and slowly my eyes shut.

When I wake up, I notice that I am on my bed with the duvet covering me up to my neck. Bokuto was next to me with a worried face, I say to him" I'm ok, Bokuto, I'm still alive."

I make a joke at the last part, just to lighten the mood as I could tell Bokuto was still very worried over something very small. Bokuto replies" Not funny, Akaashi, but at least you're ok now!"

His smile had returned and I was happy.

The sun's rays enter through the little gap that my curtains left, that singular managed to blind me and act as an alarm to wake me earlier than intended. I look to the left to see my alarm still had ten minutes till it would share its painful song. I turned the alarm off and began to get ready for the day. 

After I had finished brushing my teeth, my hair and getting dressed, I walked down stairs where my parents greeted me. I sat at the table, no food was presented just yet however, my parents were sitting with me and my Mum said" I understand you said no to the treatment, but if you wanted to extend your life by the slightest, it could help."

I sigh then replied" I know you are both scared, and if I'm being honest, I am as well, but I will not waste medical supplies on someone who cannot be saved. I would rather go through my life a bit more peacefully than in pain. I hope you both understand."

My Dad then spoke" Keiji, think about those around you, don't you think they would want you around longer? Have you spoken to your friends about this?"

" No, and I don't intend to, they know about my shortened lifetime. I'm sorry my opinion is not up to your standards, but please respect my decision, that is all I ask."

I stood up and grabbed my bag, then began to put my shoes on. I say" I have Volleyball afterschool so I'll be late."

There was no answer, I still said goodbye and left for school.

When I made it to school, there was no morning practice, so just as I made it to my classroom Bokuto was standing outside of the room with a big grin on his face. I asked" What has you so happy, Bokuto?"

" Coach told me we have a practice match with Nekoma after school!"

I was happy that we would have a match with our friends despite it being a practice one, all I hoped was that Bokuto and Kuroo would behave accordingly as those two would usually go off being hyperactive together.

The school day came to an end, the whole day was not the best as I kept experiencing the dizziness and headaches like I did when I went to the arcade with Bokuto, Kuroo and Kenma, but I didn't let it bother me.

As we were practicing our serves in the Gym, Nekoma arrived with all their regulars. Bokuto's eyes lit up once he saw that the team had arrived. We soon got into a line and began to play the game.

Nekoma served first, Konoha received the ball and I gave a toss to our ace who slammed the ball down on the Nekoma side.

Through out the first set we were getting cross shots and straights in quite easily, and Bokuto hadn't gone into any of his moods yet. But there was one issue on my mind, the issue being the fatigue I was experiencing. I know I am not like Bokuto who has never-ending stamina, but I was usually fine during one set.

Half way through the second set it seemed to only get worse and worse. When Bokuto called for the ball I tossed it and as I felt the ball leave my fingers, I noticed my surrounding getting dark in my vision and I was on the floor my eyes now, full shut.

There was some noises around me, as I opened my eyes I felt something on my head, I could see the two teams still playing, but Bokuto wasn't there. I then realised my head was not on the bench, it was on someone's legs. I looked up to see Bokuto's concerned face staring at the game before him, I reached up to Bokuto's left wrist. He quickly looked down at my pale figure, his eyes lit up and screamed" Akaashi!!!!"

I was soon pulled into his strong arms and embraced me, Coach didn't seem to happy with Bokuto keeping me in his tight embrace so it didn't take long for him to be scolded" Bokuto, let go of Akaashi, he's probably still a bit delirious."

Bokuto understood and placed me down on his legs once more, I asked" What happened?"

Bokuto was about to speak until Washio walked over, as they had just finished their second set, saying" We all suddenly heard a thud on the ground and we saw you laying there, pale. Bokuto began panicking and shaking you to wake up, Konoha and Saru had to pull him away from you. We then laid you on the bench and put a cold towel on your head. Bokuto wouldn't get out of his bad mood unless he was next to you, so we pulled him out of the game and put your head on his legs, so he would get a bit happier which worked, then you woke up."

" I'm sorry to have troubled you."

Bokuto says" It's ok, just say if you're not feeling great, we know things aren't going to get better, Akaashi."

I nod, and shut my eyes once more relaxing on his legs.

I was walking back with Bokuto after hours of practice with him, the sky was dark with stars scattering along the sky. There were a couple of clouds around, but the sky was mainly clear. It was beautiful.

As we walked in silence, I could see on his face that he wanted the silence to end. Just as I am about to say something, Bokuto says" Akaashi, I want to take you on a date!"

My walk comes to a stop as he suddenly blurts out the words that make my face go red, I ask" Did you just ask me on a date?"

" Yes, Akaashi, I wanna go on a date with you!"

" Ok, but as you are the one who has initiated it, you can organise it."

" I already have in my head."

My eyes widened when he said that, how long has he been planning this? Is this what was making him grump for the whole day?

I put his past mood behind me and said" Ok, I want it to be a surprise, so when do you want to do this?"

" Friday night."

I nod and prepare myself for the Friday to come.

It was Friday night, and as planned it was the night of the date with Bokuto. I wore a black t-shirt with blue jeans and white trainers. I wanted something simple due to the fact that this would be a casual date, and the weather is warm but with a slight breeze, so this outfit would be right for that. A knock at the door wakes me up, and I go to answer it and see Bokuto in his ace t-shirt also wearing blue jeans and white trainers. He whined" We were so close to matching..."

" Let's go Bokuto, we don't want to be late."

" That would be impossible for what I have planned."

My head tilts to the side in slight confusion as to what he had said.

It made sense once we had arrived at the local fair, there was small rides such as Tea Cup Rides and a Ferris Wheel, there was also many stalls around the area. Bokuto took my hand and we began to explore around the fair.

He brought us both candy floss, then we went on small rides. We went on the carousel, Bokuto was next to me acting like his childish self. He was ridding the horse as if it was galloping on the fields in the country. I sat on it like someone with the opposite mind to him, but sitting next to him while the ride went on, made it more enjoyable than I would imagine.

We ate more food and soon we sat on the Ferris Wheel together, it was cliché, but that didn't stop me from enjoying the date. Bokuto has a big smile on his face, and it's like he has completely forgotten it was a date. He was his normal self while I still felt quite nervous remembering the title of this.

He turned to me and said" Akaashi, do you know why I asked you on a date?"

" The logical answer would be because you have some affection towards me, as I do with you."

I was blunt, but being straightforward Bokuto is how I speak with him, because he has this special gift of knowing your true emotions and he knows when someone is lying to him, therefore being honest is better. Bokuto says" Of course I do! But, I liked for a really really long time, I thought I could never ask anyone as amazing as you Akaashi on a date. That's why Akaashi, I want to be with you for a whole year, so will you be my boyfriend?"

He reminded me of my short lifeline, but although it hurts, I know I want to spend it with him. So with glossy eyes, I say" Yes, Bokuto, I will."

He wraps his large arms around me, I take in his scent as I put my face deeper into his neck. I felt comfortable in his warmth as I can feel us being lowered. I release my embrace from him, and kiss him on the lips. His lips were warm and soft, there was no lust within, just simple love.

He took me home with his hand in mine, as he dropped me off at my front door he says" Akaashi, I love you."

" I love you too, Bokuto, let's make these few months we have together count for something."

" I'll make sure you live the best life."

I wrap my arms around him and kiss him one last time before entering my home and waving goodbye to him.

I lay on my bed, and all I can do is cry as all I know is that life is unfair. Just as things are getting better for me, they have to come crashing down, because some illness decided to start an invasion in my head. I wish I could be cured, I wish the treatment wouldn't, I wish I could live longer, I wish I could be with him longer.

Since I started dating Bokuto, I had more attention than I originally did on me and I was adjusting to it. Yes, I did not appreciate the unkind comments that I had to receive, but you grow to get use to people's jealousy.

However, final exams were approaching and Bokuto, was stressing out like some would, but this was on another level. 

When I arrived at practice, Bokuto was under a table sulking and practice hadn't even started. To make things more strange, Konoha and Komi were trying to lure the sad owl from his safe spot, I walked over and crouched to be more levelled with him. I asked" What's wrong, Bokuto?"

His eyes were glossy and he gave me a sad look, I knew the final exams were stressful and I helped him out last year, so I was confused as to why he was getting upset about it. He says" I want to play more Volleyball, I don't want to study."

He just wants to be lazy on the exams, and wants to waste the energy on the sport he loves so much. I take his hands into mine, and say" Bokuto, if you do some studying before and after practice you can play as much Volleyball as you want between that time."

His eyes sparkled, then I realised he found a loop hole with "after practice" and he knew it. He says" Akaashi, help me study Math!"

Konoha walks back over saying" You do realise you're a third year asking a second year for revision."

He gave a confused look saying" Is that bad? I just want to spend more time with Akaashi."

Konoha simply shook his head and walked away, I got Bokuto out from under the table then practice began.

Practice ended quickly, and the coach had to make Bokuto go home. Bokuto would usually stay after for spike practice, and I would join him, but due to the upcoming exams, he was being pushed away from his happy place. When we were in the club room he was whining about not getting to do spike practice, then the whining turned to on the way to the train station to on the walk to my house and now sitting in my room studying.

I slammed the Math text book down and said" Let's focus Bokuto, or you will have to take the make up test if you fail."

The fear of the make up test reached his head as he began focusing, he was studying for once, but from his legs shaking under the table, I could tell he needed to release some energy, as he is not one for sitting and learning.

I decided to take him outside into the garden, as we are practicing our receives with one another, I make him remember Math formulas so he is doing something he likes along with studying.

The day of the exams came up, and for the entire journey to school, Bokuto was quiet and I didn't like it. Bokuto being quiet is a bad thing, if he is the quiet you know that something is wrong. I ask him" Are you nervous?"

He nods, and the nodding doesn't stop, so I try and find a way to calm him. I take his hand into mine, and kiss him on the cheek saying" You'll do great!"

His head stopped nodding, but I managed to get a painful headache, so one of us was going to suffer either way.

After we had taken the exams, Bokuto looked quite happy with himself, I ask him" How do you think you did?"

" I think I did amazing thanks to your studying!"

" Really? That's great."

" I know with your studying I can pass anything!!!"

Bokuto failed the Math exam.

Everyone in the Gym was teasing the owl boy about how confident he was that he did well, when in actual fact, Bokuto had answered half of the questions and not even all of them were correct. Konoha asked him" What were you doing in the exam that made you only do half of the questions?"

His eyes lit up replying" I was sitting on the last question I was doing, and I realised I had done this question with Akaashi. Then, as I was about to start solving the question all I could think of was Akaashi, and then the Teacher asked for the tests."

Everyone slow clapped around Bokuto, including myself, there were some that laughed as well due to Bokuto's mind, but I still love him. I know he will also love that make up test.

Sitting on a bus with your boyfriend may seem peaceful, only if your boyfriend didn't have the mind of toddler, needing attention and then passing out. 

The Fukurodani bus to the training camp is never peaceful and quiet, an issue always occurs, I learnt that from last year. At the current moment, Bokuto was screaming about random things, the screaming was annoying Konoha so Konoha was yelling at Bokuto, Washio and Saru are trying to calm the situation while Komi, Onaga and myself are just closing our eyes attempting to block out the commotion from the back of the bus.

I knew it had calmed a bit when Bokuto had wrapped his arms around me, he had a pout on his face and I wrapped an arm around him asking" What's wrong, Bokuto?"

" I wanted to jump and touch the ceiling of the bus, but Konoha said I would break the bus, like the ceiling at school."

" Bokuto, you have a certain amount of power and that power is strong causing damage to occur, so he was just trying to keep you safe."

And the bus intact, but I don't need to add that.

Soon, we arrived at Shinzen High School, Bokuto was happy to get off the bus and ran around quickly exploring the area. I had no energy to help him. Coach came over and asked" I know I have asked this before, but are you ok with playing multiple matches?"

" I'll be fine, Coach, I said I'll tell someone if I start to feel bad."

He nods and walks off.

I know everyone has been worried about me since I collapsed last time against Nekoma, but I want to try and play more matches before I'm stuck on a bed for my last few moments.

At the current moment, we were playing a match against Karasuno, it was ok as they were trying out new techniques that weren't going the way they intended. However, it seemed that this was the last match of the day and with the summer heat, I was slowly growing more and more tired. It didn't help that a headache had welcomed itself, and the headaches had recently been getting worse and worse.

As I gave a toss to Washio, I felt myself stumble a bit and that small stumble didn't go unnoticed by Bokuto. He came running over asking if I was alright multiple times which seemed to confuse Karasuno, I put a hand up to Bokuto and said" I'm fine, I just lost my footing for a second."

He nodded and walked back to his position, I went over to serve, I decided not to do a jump serve just to stay safe. In the end, the match ended with us as the victors. 

When I was in the Third Gym with Tsukishima, Kuroo and Bokuto, Tsukishima asked" Why did Bokuto check on you when you stumbled?"

" Well, currently, I am not in my best condition therefore, he is always checking on me."

He nods and we continue to practice, then we go off to eat. Once we finish I lay in the futon and rest, Bokuto turns to me asking" Akaashi, why didn't you take a break?"

" Bokuto, you have a long time before you have a final game, I don't, remember that I only have a certain amount of time. So, instead of warming a bench, I want to be on the court."

His eyes are glossy from my explanation, he takes me into his arms and keeps me warm. When I wake up, I notice no one is in the room and it didn't take a genius to know that I had slept in. The headache I had was still there, which caused some issues, but I got up.

I ran to the Gym opening the door open, some heads turned to see me standing there. I saw that a first year had taken my setter spot, and all that went through my head, was that this is what's going to happen when I'm gone. A new setter will be there, one with actual skill and one who can help their ace, one who isn't dying and worrying everyone around him. I walk back and prepare myself to go back to the dorms. There were no footsteps behind me, because everyone there wants to go to nationals, not fall behind, I won't ruin that shot for them.

I run up the hill where the penalties take place, and I just cried, it was all I could do. I was so slowly realising that, I won't be around for much longer. If we make it to nationals, that will be my last one and I won't relive a match anymore, because I won't get to experience that feeling anymore, that's terrifying. 

As I begin to walk down the hill, I see my team doing a penalty, I behind a tree, because there was nowhere else to go. As I turn expecting them all to be gone, Bokuto was standing there with his golden eyes glowing at me. He said" Why did you run, Akaashi?"

" It's obvious you're going to need me less, especially when I become weaker."

He yells" BUT I ONLY WANT YOUR TOSSES!!! WHEN WE GO TO NATIONALS, I WANT YOUR TOSSES ONLY!!!"

" WHAT IF I CAN'T MOVE THEN?! WHAT DO YOU EXPECT?!"

" SIT IN A CHAIR AND DO IT, IF YOU QUIT VOLLEYBALL BEFORE YOU DIE, I'LL DRAG YOU BACK MYSELF!!!"

He went quiet and spoke once more" Akaashi, if you can stand you can still play, so please, keep being our setter."

I nod, it didn't take long for his arms to be wrapped around me.

We were practicing in the Third Gym once more, we were playing a match and Hinata was on the team. We had decided to take a break and Hinata asked" I heard Bokuto screaming about you dying, are you dying, Akaashi?"

I sigh as I was waiting for someone to ask this, when Bokuto normally talks it isn't quiet, so when he yells, anyone can hear him. I say" Well earlier in the year, I was diagnosed with cancer in the brain, and it turned out to be terminal, so this will be my last nationals and tournament."

Hinata's eyes reminded me of Bokuto's a bit, they were so full of emotion, so when he heard these words escape from my mouth, his eyes just held sadness and devastation. He asked" How long do you think you can play for?"

" I don't know, but I'll play as long as I can."

" I would as well if I was in your position!"

I smile at his statement and ruffle his head, and we continue our match.

Training camp ended, that meant that school was also returning and I would have to start preparing for the qualifiers for Nationals. Bokuto made it clear to me, that he wanted me as the official setter for the team and not the first year, Anahori Shuichi. In the end, it doesn't matter what any of us think, because the Coach will be the one to decide who is on the court, and who has to warm the bench.

The day started off normal at school, Bokuto decided to change our usual walk and picked me up from my house. We walked to the the train station together where we met the other third years, as we had morning practice, and took the train to school. We had our usual morning practice, which was mainly spike practice. The school day began after that.

Bokuto once again changed our usual routine, and dropped me off at my classroom. He waved goodbye, and that's when hell began. The thing is for me, that I have grown more pale due to the cancer, and I guess looking more dead doesn't sit well with teenagers. For some, they hold concern and worry as not many know of my situation, then you have others who find an opportunity to hurt you, because you look different despite you not being able to help it.

This consisted of some peers in my class, they usually find something to insult me about may it be about me being Vice-Captain of the Volleyball Team and only being a second year, so I suck Bokuto off or if I enter the classroom a little late due to practice, so I was fucking Bokuto. Happily, in some way for myself, I knew there would be no sexual jokes implied for once and that was nice for me. It was nice to not be mocked for earning a position with intimacy, and I like to think I earned it in some way.

These second year approached me just as Bokuto left, one said" What's with the pale look, Akaashi? Are you finally leaving the school and giving your position to someone who can actually play?"

" Thank you for your concern, but despite my exterior, I am here to stay for a while. At least until the end of my second year."

" What the hell are you talking about? Are you dying or something?"

I realised I had slipped in my answer, so I reply" No."

And walk back to my seat, they tried walking to my seat, but the teacher arrived meaning they had to pay attention to more important things in life now.

Lunch arrived soon, Bokuto hadn't arrived yet so I just sat and waited for him to arrive. Unfortunately, due to my luck of the day, the same group came over, I could see in their eye they had something to say, but that wasn't what worried me. The fact that they wore smirks and their hands were behind their back worried me, I knew those positions weren't their usual, so something was up. One said" Akaashi, it seems Bokuto hasn't arrived want to walk with us to the cafeteria?"

" No, I'm fine waiting here."

It didn't seem that was meant to be a question, because I was soon dragged off. I tried to remain calm in the situation I am in, I didn't want to cause any commotion because that make the issue worse and I don't want make the flames grow more than they already have.

I was soon behind the Gym with the group of idiots around me, they revealed their hands that were hidden. A rope and cloth is what two of them had while the other one, he had nothing. I felt calm with that, but I shouldn't of.

It didn't take long for my wrists to become tied up and the cloth around my mouth allowing me lose the ability to breathe and talk. It didn't help that I felt sick all of that day, which was a pain, but I had to keep moving and try to escape this.

I couldn't think on it long, as a punch came to my jaw, I grunted in pain, but the punches continued to my face. All I could think was that it was such an obvious place to hit someone, wouldn't you go for the chest or stomach, but I have a brain, so I guess these kids don't understand yet.

They were all surprised when a punch came to the back of the guy's head, he held it in pain and turned to have a go at the attacked, but the attacked was my boyfriend, and he isn't exactly weak. They all scrammed and Bokuto untied me, thankfully the beating to my face was only a few punches so I was ok. However, that would not sit well with Bokuto, he frantically asked" Are you? Did he hit you anywhere else? Do you need to sit down? Should I carry to the medical office?"

I put a hand up and say" I'm fine Bokuto, I only have a headache and I feel a little sick, but we know where that's from."

" I'm taking you to the medical office either way."

I nodded and took his hand as we went away.

Time had gone by and we had made it past the qualifiers for Nationals, most of it was thanks to Bokuto as he is the ace after all. However, I think due to my state weakening more and more, I won't participate in Nationals. I would only be holding the team back and as much as I want to play for one last Nationals, I just know it wouldn't be possible and I want to watch Fukurodani win, not fall.

When waking up all I feel is the urge to vomit, this symptom has become nearly daily now and sometimes I would vomit which would cause me to miss school. Another reason why I should not be at Nationals with the time, I should be cheering them on. I make it out either way and get ready for school.

I know Bokuto is at morning practice, so I wouldn't seem him this morning, I chose to not go, because it was just a struggle to even escape from the bed, every inch of my body felt heavy and therefore I had texted the captain saying I couldn't go. Everyone understands that things for me will not get better, I just wish I could do better for them.

Once I arrived at school, Bokuto was there with his cheerful grin he said" Hi Akaashi! How are you feeling?"

" I'm getting there, hopefully this drowsiness will pass."

" I'm sure it will for Nationals."

" I need to talk to you about that."

Before I could continue what I was going to talk to him about the bell went, and Bokuto had waved goodbye. There was an ache in my chest that said this was a bad decision, but it was for the best.

Classes went on with some people still pointing out the fact that I looked sick, it was starting to get annoying and on my nerves. Someone who sat next to me, asked me" Hey, Akaashi, why do you look like your dying?"

I got to the final straw of this, I would call myself someone who is calm and composed, but all of that had disappeared when the same question appeared every time. Therefore, when it was asked for the last time, I said quite loudly" Yes! Yes, I am dying! Are you happy that you have asked how I am doing?!"

Everyone turned to me in shock, and I had realised what some people knew, was now going to be what the entire school knew. I just put my head on the table in defeat, knowing everyone is going to know and that question of how I am is going to become daily.

Thankfully the day came to an end, and I had Volleyball practice.

All the members looked at me with worry, and I asked" What's wrong?"

Bokuto came from behind me and just hugged me, he said" What is it you wanted to say this morning? It had something to do with Nationals."

" I have decided to not be part of the regulars at Nationals."

Bokuto quickly turned me so I faced him, he put his hands on my face saying" Didn't you say you wanted to keep playing Volleyball until you were stuck on a bed? You better stay on the team, because we all need you, not just me. If you love Volleyball so much, then stay on the regular team."

" Bokuto, this isn't about what I want, it's what is best for the team. What if I become sick and can't play? What if I collapse before being able to toss to you and that ball would be the point we need to win? I don't want you to lose those chances, I don't want this team to lose those chances."

Konoha walked up saying" Akaashi, I get you're worried about holding us down, but you got your senpais to help you."

Komi says" Yeah, and that ball falls from your hand then I'll receive it."

Everyone around me started piping in what they would do to help, and my emotional state had just collapsed. Tears were descending down my cheeks, because I was honestly that stupid to think no one would stop me. The truth is they all care and would do anything to keep me here.

It didn't take long for the weather in Tokyo to get colder, that also meant that my birthday would be arriving soon. Part of me was looking forward to the celebrations, but there was another side of me that was still falling into the darkness of knowing this would be the last birthday I get to celebrate.

My parents made it clear to me that they would be throwing some big party for me however, I am not someone who enjoys that much social interaction. But for them, I'll do my best, I would rather spend a day with Bokuto though.

My birthday came which happened to be a school day, I wasn't really looking forward to the fact that I would have to be at school then again, no one really wants to be at school on their birthday.

I was surprised when I woke up to see my parents come in with presents and a cake. They both sat either side on my bed, I blew out the candles and accepted the gifts gratefully. I had some books I had wanted to read for a while and a new volleyball as mine was getting a bit old. I soon left the house, but just as I was about to leave I heard a knock. Bokuto was at the door, I was more surprised he managed to wake up this early and walk to my house. He gave me a giant stuffed grey owl, and a card. I placed them in the living room before taking his hand and leaving for school.

When I arrived the Volleyball team surprised me outside of my classroom with gifts and many happy birthdays, I took the gifts and thanked them. The day went by normally as any school day would, the only difference being the amount of people saying happy birthday to me.

Bokuto decided there would be no practice today which surprised me as Nationals are coming up, but it seemed that this big part was truly happening as when I arrived at my house, most of the Volleyball team were there besides Bokuto and I and surprised us with the big bash. I'm not going to question how they all got there before me, but it was nice.

Snacks were passed around and everyone had a slice of cake, things only took a turn when my Dad decided to get out the Karaoke Machine. In that moment, I knew that the once calm and happy atmosphere was now about to change into a mental one.

Konoha and Komi started off singing first, they were singing some sappy love duet, but it was obvious they were taking the piss. Either way I found their whole duet entertaining, then Saru sang his song which was some quite upbeat one with everyone just head banging as he sang. Washio declined from taking part in the karaoke session. Yukie and Kaori then sang together and finally Bokuto took my hand. We sang a duet together, but Bokuto was clearly taking the lead while I tried to sing as quietly as possible which is quiet hard if you're holding a microphone that makes your voice louder. In the end, the whole party was amazing and I enjoyed every second of it.

Bokuto then asked me" Akaashi, can we take a walk?"

I nod and follow his lead outside of my house, we only wore our blazers and a scarf as we walked outside in the winter cold. Bokuto held me close as walked near the woods that was near my home. I ask" Bokuto, how come you asked for me to walk with you?"

He smiled at me saying" I just wanted to be alone with you Akaashi for a while, I want to spend time with you."

I nod and we continue, until he says" I wonder what next year will be like?"

Quietly, I reply" It will probably be quiet, not how today was."

Bokuto turned to me and said" I don't think it will, I think I'll continue celebrating your birthday for years and years, even if we can't see each other."

A tear rolled down my cheek, Bokuto isn't always one for saying things as this, and when he does, it hits me sometimes. I say" Bokuto, when I die, I'll still be by your side and I'll celebrate our birthdays with you."

He smiles and takes me into his arms, they were warm.

It didn't take long for Nationals to take place, we had made it through the first round despite Bokuto going through another one of his weaknesses. It was incredible to seem him come back as he spiked the ball multiple times, whenever I see that all I can think is that there is a star and I feel lucky enough to watch this star rise.

Some of my team mate find it a bit weird whenever I praise, Bokuto, I guess no one can really see what I see.

The other schools were all doing well throughout Nationals and it was good to know that our training was worth it, the extra time we spent at practice has paid off, it's those moments we know that count. However, that did not change the way I was feeling the entire time. I was aware of the fact I didn't have much time left, and that my body would get weaker and weaker. I knew it was only a matter of time before I would be stuck to a bed unable to move, but as long as we can win or even get to the finals, I would be happy

We were about to start our match against Mujinazaka High, it was a match I was nervous for, it was one that I knew it could go one way or the other especially since one of the top three spikers was on the team. I felt anxious the entire time knowing this could be it, I didn't want to think that way, I wanted to look forward. So throughout the match I did my best to focus.

I felt myself going, I was slowly losing my calm stability that I have always managed to maintain. 

I chose to go for a setter dump, I couldn't think straight and decisions were jumbled in my head, so when I saw my setter dump fall onto our side of the court my heart paused. I lost us a point, I basically handed the other team a point and even I knew myself that dump was so obvious. I wanted to beat myself to the ground, but I had to keep going.

Just when things couldn't get any better, I tossed the ball to Washio and he slammed it. I made another mistake, I held the ball to long and lost us another point.

I needed to clear my mind, I needed to look calm and just put all this behind me. If only I were more like Kageyama or Miya Atsumu--

My mind wasn't clearing there was no relaxing, these thoughts needed to cease. Bokuto then says" If Akaashi's having an off day, then why don't we sub him out for a bit?"

I apologise to him and Anahori is in.

I sit on the bench and scream into my hands and the game continues with Coach speaking to me, it didn't take long for me to re-join and we won.

We were in the final, this would be the final match, would we be the victors or the losers? I wasn't sure, but just as I hear the whistle blow for the final point. I realise we weren't the winners today, Ichibayashi High is.

I wasn't allowed to think on it long, because I knew the weakness of my body was wearing me down and I felt lucky to play in my last Nationals. 

Suddenly, I felt myself pause on my feet, it was like a wave of fatigue. I turned to Bokuto and just as I was about to reach my hand out to him my knees buckled, I could feel the hard ground from where I stood. My legs had no feeling in them anymore, I knew now I was drawing to the end of my story.

Bokuto raced to me, he held my hand and asked" Akaashi?! What's wrong?! What happened?! Can you stand?!"

I reply" I think I will need help to stand now, Bokuto."

" What do you mean?"

" I can't feel my legs, Bokuto, I don't think I ever will. I was warned of the paralysis, but I didn't want to believe it. I still wanted to play more, I wanted to play more matches with you and the team."

I heard some people asking for a stretcher as I stayed in Bokuto's arms, they were nice and warm. He said to me" Akaashi, I promise you, that you and I will play one last match together. I need more of your tosses."

" Just as for them Bokuto, and the ball will reach your hand."

I could feel his tears dripping onto my face as I looked up to see his sad expression, the lights were behind him, he looked incredible. I truly love my star of an ace.

Waking up it was still dark outside, the blinds were closed and the room was almost pitch black, apart from the light of the door way. Telling by the how the room was designed and the heart monitor beeping away, I was in Hospital, where I would most likely remain. Even if I wanted to leave the room, I couldn't because the old feeling of being able to escape from the warmth of the duvet, was gone, as there was no feeling in my legs left.

I was warned of paralysis, it didn't happen to everyone however, due to my body weakening more and more, it seemed to have effected me. 

Soon after waking up, I chose to go back to sleep as there was no point of being awake if there is nothing to do. 

When I woke up again, Bokuto and Konoha were in the room. Bokuto was sitting on the edge of my bed while Konoha sat on a chair on my left. Bokuto quickly noticed how I was awake, he screamed" Akaashi!"

He hugged me immediately while Konoha smiled off to the side, usually Konoha would yell at Bokuto back for screaming. The old scene had changed because of the state I was in and I missed those old moments. I wish I could go back to them, to the days where I could give Bokuto a toss and he would spike the ball down, everyone around us would cheer, those are the days I want back.

I asked" What happened while I was unconscious?"

Konoha replied" Bokuto refused to let go of you in the beginning, but once we got him to let go, you were taken on a stretcher and sent straight to the closest Hospital. You've been here for a couple of days now, your parents have come daily, but they're at work at the minute. The rest of the team was here an hour ago, we've all come to visit you as much as we can."

" Thank you, but shouldn't you all be focusing on your entrance exams."

Bokuto says" Akaashi, how can I focus on an entrance exam when you're laying on a bed like this?"

" Bokuto, it was inevitable this was going to happen, remember I'm going to die with this disease!"

" That's why I want to spend as much time as I can with you!"

I sigh and keep my arms around the giant owl that is Bokuto, and I suggest" How about we play one last match in the Gym, at school?"

Bokuto pulled away from the hug for once, his eyes had stars in them when he heard my suggestion. 

So, after much persuasion, I was allowed out of the Hospital to play some Volleyball, the only difference being I was on a wheelchair.

When I arrived at the Gym, everyone there who didn't know about this game were surprised to see me there. I was aware of the fact that I looked pale and sickly, but that wouldn't stop me from giving Bokuto a toss. This would also be the third years last game, so this match was important to us.

We decided it would be the regulars against the first years, it was going to be a fun game, because it didn't matter who won or lost. I did my best to wheel about the court, I tried to receive the best I could.

When I saw the ball flying in the air, I had an image of Nationals and seeing the ball fly through with the lights behind it seemed beautiful. As the ball reached my hands, I tossed the ball to Bokuto and he did a cross-shot. He walked over to me knelt down and said" Your tosses are the best, Akaashi!"

He had his usual big grin on his face, I embraced him saying" You better enjoy those tosses then!"

Soon, the game came to an end with us regulars winning. Bokuto came up to me saying" Akaashi, give me a toss."

I nod and began to give him multiple tosses, I didn't want this to end, I didn't want to lose the happiness of having that ball touch my finger tips. I wanted this happy feeling to never end, yes I would love to be on my legs once more, but just tossing the ball to my star is all I need. Soon, I could see Bokuto getting tired and I could feel a bad headache reaching my head so I said" Bokuto, let's do one last toss."

He nods, he throws the ball into the air and makes a running approach, the ball is on my finger tips and I toss it to the ace who slams it down. I say to Bokuto" You better never stop playing Volleyball, make it big, ace."

He runs over and hugs me saying" I promise, Keiji."

Waking up, I was welcomed with the mid-afternoon sun soaring in the sky. I could see the beautiful sky from my window in the Hospital room. The room was always quiet, I would pass the time reading or wasting time on my phone. The times when they are not quiet, is when my friends and boyfriend would come to visit, when my parents came to visit they were always sad and hardly any words could be spoken. My parents treat me more as someone who has already died, I just know it's their way of getting ready to say goodbye and accept my fate.

Today was a Saturday which meant Bokuto would be spending the whole day with me, my parents would be working and my friends from the club will come tomorrow. Bokuto and I have always saved Saturdays together, I enjoy spending time with him, because I never know when the last day will be.

When I did wake up today, I felt weaker, weaker than I usually do and that feeling scares me. It makes me question if today will be the last day, the last day before I have to wave the white flag and pass.

I hear a knock at the door and turn to see Bokuto standing in the door way with a bag in his hand, I say" You're early."

" Akaashi, I'm on time as usual. Did you wake up late again?"

I looked at the clock on the bedside table, I saw the it was eleven o'clock, Bokuto was on time and I had once again stayed in the grasp of sleep. Bokuto sat on the edge of the bed saying" You keep sleeping late, Akaashi, are you getting more tired?"

" Yes, but I'll try and stay awake as long as I can."

He smiles at me, his hand resting on top of mine, I could feel the tears resting at the corners of my eyes. I wish I could hold this moment forever, the moment of being able to stay in his arms and just staying by his side. Then again, at some point in our lives may it be young or old, we die at some point. I ask" Bokuto, what did you bring?"

His eyes lit up and he replies" I brought a Volleyball, I thought we could do receives together."

I smiled saying" Of course, I'd love to, let's try and stay unseen though."

He nods and we begin to do the receives together, for a while it was fun until my body felt more and more weak. I say" Bokuto can we take a break?"

He nods and puts the ball down on the ground, I ask" Bokuto, can you lay next to me and hold me?"

" Sure."

He lays on my left, I felt the warmth of his arms. I realised in that moment, my heart felt weaker and I felt more cold. My vision was more clouded, this was death, I was dying. I wouldn't get to see my friends tomorrow. I turn to Bokuto saying" Can you promise me something?"

" Of course, Akaashi, anything."

" Promise me that you'll make it big in Volleyball, that you will keep going and you'll never stop. I don't care you're an old man, you keep playing in chair if that's what will happen. Just don't stop looking forward."

" I promise, Akaashi."

He kissed my forehead, I then say" I'm going to take a nap, I love you, Bokuto."

" I love you too, Akaashi."

I could feel my eyes closing slowly and the darkness caving in, the light entered my vision and I felt stronger. 

{Bokuto POV}

Akaashi fell limp in my arms, his body was cold and his breathing came to a halt. I put my head on his chest to hear a heartbeat despite the loud beep signally that he was gone. No one came into the room, when a doctor did he knew my Keiji was gone. Everyone knew he was going to go, but why did it still hurt?

By that point that people around us had their heads down, I just cried. Tears rolled down my cheeks slowly and then the sobs escaped my mouth. I just wanted him back, I wanted to hear his monotone voice. I wanted to spike one of his tosses again, I wanted to feel his lips on mine, but I knew, those moments would cease to exist now. 

I let Akaashi's body rest on the bed, I pulled the covers up to his neck and kiss cold lips one last time, saying" Sleep well, Keiji."

I left the room, when I was about to walk out of the Hospital Konoha and Washio were there. Konoha asked" I-Is he...gone?"

I nodded, my head still down. I couldn't put a brave face on, it was better to hide the sadness, at least that is what I thought before I was taken into their arms, I cried into Konoha's shoulder wishing for Keiji to be breathing next to me.

The funeral came by quickly, it was quiet all you could hear was crying and prayers for Keiji to be happy. I stood in front of his grave and said" I miss you, Keiji. I'll make it big for you, and for what we could have had. I love you..."


End file.
